Yesterday I got out of my car and patted my butt to check for my debit card. “Dumb-ass, you left it at home. I hope you have enough cash.” I said to myself. What does it sound like in your head when you make a mistake? For me, It is not the kindest words.
I go to a counselor. No, I am not ashamed of that fact. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend everyone go to a counselor. Especially if you are an entrepreneur as the pressure and challenges to be a self-managed business can be very heavy. What I learned yesterday is that I am not a very nice person to myself.
Do you call yourself a dumb-ass?
We made the decision this year, to spend more time outside. As a part of this decision, that means I have a few outdoor projects to take care of. In the feature image, you see one of those projects. We have a metal round table that we put on our porch. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite fit right. We could fit the chairs around 3/4 of the table and it was difficult to get around the outer chairs.
Staring at the problem, I decided to cut out a quarter of the table and fit it into the edge of the house. Genius, right? Well, I thought so. I got to work with my heavy-gage tin snips and immediately I saw a detail that I missed when planning, “Dumb-ass.” However, I powered through and continued to cut. On the very last portion, I pinched the snips with all my might and broke my tool! “Dumb-ass.” I told you I wasn’t very nice to myself.
Since I made most of the cut, I pivoted and used a hammer and a large screwdriver to punch through the last piece of metal. “Whew! All done Jon. Great job.” Okay, so maybe I am positive some of the time. But then, I saw it. I completely missed the fact that there is a second round ring at mid-base of the table to support the legs. “…” I won’t say what I said to myself then. With broken snips, there was no way I could finish the project. In desperation I moved the table back to the porch to see how it would fit. It did not fit. To me, and later I found I was the only one who cared, I failed and the project was a disaster.
What is it supposed to sound like?
To put it simply, Love. In more blogs than I care to go and count, I preach that we are to love each other and not put people down. But I often find myself violating everything I believe in when I am talking to myself. My counselor had a great recommendation that I plan to put into practice. He said instead of focusing on myself as the problem, focus on the choice or the problem itself.
I can call the problem stupid without calling myself a dumb-ass. Lastly, I want to point out why this is so important. The way we talk about ourselves comes out in our behavior no matter how hard we try. For me, I speak negatively about my mistakes and frustration grows until I blow up at the kids or my wife for just being who they are. Our mind is a very powerful tool, so let’s use it for love and positivity, not hate or frustration.
Does any of this reign true with you? Send me a message. I would love to start a dialogue to improve both of our lives.
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