Love Dare Day 35: April 24, 2020
What is Day 24 about:
A major theme in all self-improvement books I’ve read is that being accountable to someone in your endeavors will change everything. This chapter discusses the importance of why we need people who hold us accountable and why that needs to be someone other than your spouse.
What do I think about the material:
Jessica is a phenomenal accountability partner. I don’t say this to fluff her up, but her natural personality suits this function very well. She is not afraid to call people out on their BS and will do it in such a graceful manner.
In regard to our marriage, however, she is not the accountability partner I need. Even though she has no problem calling me out on my own stuff, I need a man with a Godly perspective that can keep me accountable to being a strong Christian husband.
Everyone I meet knows one thing about me within the first 10 minutes. The simple fact is that my family means more to me than anything I accomplish or inspire to do. This, unfortunately, has caused me to have a tilted view on how I see other men.
Countless times in our marriage, we will meet a new couple on a game night or a family outing and afterwards I am frustrated about how the husband treats his family. Most of the time it is subtle, but it rubs me the wrong way.
We recently met a couple where the man has the same priority as mine, and Jess told me that this was the first time in 10 years I have eve said that. All that to say that this chapter talks about finding a mentor that you can count on to be accountable to instead of relying on yourself.
It is difficult to choose a mentor, when it took me ten years to find a friend with the same priorities as mine. I will say, though, that this chapter is spot on why we need mentors and accountability partners. Even though most times we are our worst critic, we are also our worst judge. All too often we let ourselves off the hook and go back to bad habits.
My task and how did I perform the task:
It is no surprise what today’s challenge turned out to be. Find a marriage mentor. I read my comments that I wrote three years ago and it gave me a sad chuckle. I wrote down the name of a couple to seek out as a mentor. This couple ended up being a toxic voice in my ear and almost ended my marriage!
This time, I am going to let God do the choosing. Because of COVID-19 our church is not meeting in person. The pastor reached out to the congregation to find more ways to connect during this time. One gentleman is starting a men’s group and invited me to join.
Today I have a call with him to discuss the how’s and why’s. I am praying God will lead a man in my direction to be my accountability partner.
Jessica’s reaction:
I told her of my endeavors and she is proud that I am taking steps in the right direction. She echoed that the one major thing missing from my life is a relationship with a strong Christian man.
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