Too Ready to Poke

Love Dare Day 6: March 23, 2020

What is Day 6 about:

The title of this chapter seems a little obvious: Love is not irritable and thus we must not poke.

I wonder though, if you turned the tables like in chapter 5, will our love find our actions irritable?

Let’s see what the chapter says about being irritable.

What do I think about the material:

I love the way this chapter opened up. We are to focus on our actions that may or may not be irritable to our loved one, but in fact it points to us being irritated by them.

It points out that irritable means: to be near the point of a knife. It is pretty easy to poke when you are the sharp end. Let that soak in a minute.

If we are constantly in a state of irritation, then we are ready to poke them at any minute, and not in the good way!

Also, if we are honest with ourselves then we need to be able to ask ourselves if we are influenced by love or by other forces that cause us to be irritable. 

Stress is a great example of a force so strong that it can make us compromise our love for someone and poke on them.

I am sure we have all heard the phrase, take care of yourself so you can take care of others. That I think goes doubly for your loved ones.

Love, as it is an action word and not a noun, requires work and conscience effort to do well. If we are not taking care of ourselves then is it a realistic expectation that we can love others in its purest form?

I think not.

The chapter is sums it up better than I, so I will quote:

“In each decision, love ultimately lowers our stress and helps you release the venom that can build up inside.”

What was my task and how did I perform the task:

Today’s challenge is two-fold.

1. Make a list of areas that I need to add margin in my schedule
   1. My morning routine
   2. Taking the kids to school
   3. Afternoon schedule with kids, dinner, and evening commitments.
2. List any selfish motivations that I need to release from my life.
   1. Making enough money for the family / finances
   2. Success of CCS&E and freelance work with ClickEngine.
   3. Being successful in the way the home is ran and being in control.

What was Jessica’s reaction:

This was another day where her reaction could not easily be gauged.

Instead, I will give an example of where I need to release selfish motivations.

Since it is usually a pretty sensitive topic for most of us men, I would like to address the desire to make enough money to support my family. That last sentence is a hard one for me to write. Because how is wanting to provide for your family selfish?

That notion has taken me years to understand and to this day. Obviously because it is on my list, I struggle with it almost every single day. The problem isn’t that I desire to take care of my family, but it’s that I insist on taking the control away from God.

We are supposed to be ready and willing servants and God will take care of the rest. Not to say we are not supposed to work hard, budget correctly and make sound monetary decisions. We must listen to God’s purpose in our lives and be obedient to every word out of his mouth.

My problem is I listen like my 6 year old. When he speaks he has my attention for a minute. Then I get an idea and my mind starts to solve problems and I stop listening.

If I can learn to listen completely and follow the wisdom he has built in me over the many years of hard work and trials, then my marriage will improve. The weight of ensuring the survival of my family will no longer be on my shoulders.

With this COVID-19 pandemic in our midst, I am getting daily application of this challenge to not poke our loved ones. The human in me wants to quarantine my family and get ready to protect them from an apocalyptic world. But that is not what God is telling me.

Today God is telling me to continue with our lives and prepare to make smart choices. For example, we have great spaces for a home garden. Enough space to not only feed my family, but to help others.

Yesterday we decided, as a couple, that we should convert some of the space to a garden. We went out and bought specific seeds and got the kids working on starters. This decision was not out of fear, but out of helping others with the resources we have.

We even asked ourselves, “What would we do with all this food if we don’t need it?” And without a beat we decided we would donate it to the community.

God will use the tools at your disposal for good while at the same time help others.

Oh and not to mention it cost us like $20 and some labor to get this going.

I hope down the road I can remember days like this when worry of bills come crashing down on me.

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